Should's and Ought's

Writing my first two posts and reading some of your comments brought several of the more quirky "should" or "ought" commandments I heard as a child to mind. I thought you might like reading about a couple of the funnier "should's" my mom insisted upon. So here goes -

1. "You must always wear a girdle when you go out in public. Your bottom should not jiggle when you walk nor should the crack between your buttocks show. That is just vulgar!"

"Vulgar" was a word my mom used often in association with any unladylike behavior, dress, or personal grooming practice. A woman who smoked in public (Mom was a smoker but she never lit up in public), drank a little too much, flirted overtly, talked too loudly, wore clothing that was too short, clingy, or revealing, sported heavy make-up, etc. was classified as vulgar by Mom.

So as soon as I was old enough (eighth grade, I think) to begin wearing stockings, I was fitted with a heavy, nylon, long-line girdle. It smoothed and flattened the tush and never, ever let anything "jiggle." I still groan when I think about how impossible that girdle was to pull back up over my sweaty legs after gym class. (The photo below is NOT me by the way. I gave up on following this commandment as soon as I went away to college!)

2. "The person who makes a call should be the one to end the call. It is rude to say goodbye first to anyone who calls you. You must wait for them to do so."

Now I just cannot tell you how many hours my mother sat with the phone to her ear, listening to some relative or neighbor drone on and on about nothing important, just because she always followed this rule and refused to be rude. To my knowledge, she never told anyone, not even in the politest way possible, that she couldn't talk or that she would have to call them back later. Nope. Despite the fact that their call came at the most inconvenient time possible - like in the middle of dinner - my mother listened patiently until the caller was ready to say goodbye. This particular "should" drove my poor dad crazy. Can't tell you how many times I heard him yell, "Bonnie, just hang up the damned phone!"

3. During a thunderstorm, you should stop whatever you're doing, close all the curtains and draperies, and sit down quietly in an interior room. You ought to avoid the kitchen or bathroom and never stand near a window, take a shower, or answer the phone during a storm."

This one, I believe, was a hold-over from my mom's childhood. My grandfather was afraid of storms, maybe because he was a farmer and had likely been caught outside in them more than once. Or maybe because electric lights were a relatively new addition to his home in rural Bedford County Virginia, and the potentially deadly power of those wires running into the house was well-respected. In either case, whenever a storm came up, he rounded up the kids (however many of his 10 children were living at home at the time), herded them inside, and made them sit quietly - away from any plumbing and wiring on which the lightening might run into the house - until the storm was over. My dad, the railroad electrician, thought this "should" was just plain ridiculous. He would often deliberately defy this rule, encouraging me and my brother to watch the lighting flash outside our picture window, just to upset my mom.

Well, there you have several of the best "should's" and "ought's" at my house. What are some of yours?